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Dr. Jay Carter
by Kathy Noll in April 2002
Dr. Carter has taught thousands of people through adult education courses and workshops dealing with Charisma, Leadership, and Difficult People. His books and workshops have made positive changes in personal and professional lives.
He has also appeared on numerous radio and TV shows around the world, and has consulted with the Oprah Winfrey Show for shows on "Verbal Abuse" and "Obnoxious Husbands." "Readers Digest" consulted with him for an article on Mean People, and he was awarded with the Maggie Award for an article on the Contagiousness of Verbal Abuse in "Mothering Magazine."
He most recently appeared on the Montel Williams show with Kathy Noll discussing their latest book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns." Bullying, self-esteem, and school violence issues were discussed with actual bully/victim kids.
newly released book, "Butterflies Don't Land on Manure - The Transformation
of Ordinary Man" is a humorous, adventurous, and quixotic story of
the transformation of Jack Callahan ("Caterpillar Jack"). Men
and woman love this book! Filled with modern day dragons and wizards in
human form. A search for your soul mate. Captivating! But is there a moral
1. Why was your book written?
There is a great need for information on bullies now as a lot of children are having problems. I know this because I receive a lot of mail asking for help from parents, children and educators. Also, our book was written right before all the school shootings and bomb threats began so there is a definite NEED for it.
2. How did Dr. Carter become your co-author?
My book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns" is the children's version of Dr. Jay Carter's best-selling book, "Nasty People." Dr. Carter asked me to write this book because he had liked my short stories that I wrote for children. He had placed an ad in the newspaper for a co-author and said he picked me over 50 other authors who submitted writing samples because he felt I had a way with talking to kids.
3. How does his influence affect the book?
is a psychologist and owner of the Center for Self-esteem where he counsels.
Our book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns" is largely about self-esteem
and self-help because of his influence. The book not only teaches kids
how to handle bullies, but also shows kids how they can improve their
self-esteem and feel good about themselves. This will help them grow into
Educators are helped by using "Taking the Bully by the Horns" to control their class bullies and also to help their class victims. Parents are helped by reading the book to their children or having them read it themselves. And children/young adults are helped - both victims AND bullies. The victims will learn how to handle bullies and where to get help. The bullies will learn how their negative actions are affecting people and how to change their behavior. Both are helped with self-esteem as well which is very important when dealing with these issues.
5. How can we order your books & videos?
There is info. available at my web site: http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll or, to order our four videos and "Taking the Bully by the Horns" by mail, please send $12.95 each plus $2.00 S/H to: Kathy Noll, 3300 Chestnut St., Reading, PA 19605 Thank you.
6. Define Bullying; what does it consist of?
Bullying consists of ongoing threats, physical attacks, words, gestures, or social exclusion directed at a student or students by a student or group of students who are older, bigger, or more powerful. Besides physical bullying, there is also verbal bullying and mental bullying. The bully's pattern of verbal abuse might include: teasing, swearing, put downs, gossiping, twisting your words around, judging you unfairly, passing blame, bossing, embarrassing you in front of a group, making you cry. The bully's pattern of mental abuse includes: twisting your words around, judging you unfairly, missing the point, passing blame, bossing, making you self-conscious, embarrassing you, making you cry, confusing you, and making you feel small so he/she can feel big.
7. What are the statistics on children being bullied?
According to the US Dept. of Justice: 1 out of 4 children are being bullied. 83% fear harassment in the bathroom. Over 100,000 kids have carried guns to school. More statistics are available at my web site: http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll
8. If a child is hit, should he/she strike back to defend him/herself?
In my book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns" we call this the "bully cycle." Bullies create more bullies. This is no good. The cycle needs to stop somewhere. If the child had tried confronting the bully or talking out the situation peacefully to no avail and was backed up against a wall so that he/she couldn't walk or run away and actually needed to defend himself/herself, that is a different story. But when we're talking about teasing or verbal abuse, tell your child, "You don't need to listen to that. You're better than that. Just walk away."
Those who have shared my book with their children/students tell me the children feel stronger after reading my book. They also understand bullying behavior better, and have improved their self-esteem. One boy touched me when he told me he was handicapped and read my book Christmas day when he received it. He didn't put it down until he was finished and said it was the best book he ever read and that it made him feel a lot better about himself.
10. How are schools using your book?
need to be aware of conflicts and to not be afraid to get involved. Start
your own "peace" programs. One example would be students in
Hillsboro H.S. in Nashville, Tenn., who created the "I will pledge"
and urge fellow students to sign the pledge not to mock or bully others
who dress, act, look, or talk differently. Teachers are also using, "Taking
the Bully by
11. What information does your web site provide?
Articles, advice and statistics for educators, parents and children. Also, information on Dr. Carter, myself and also on our book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns," including how to order. I am constantly adding more helpful info. As I find/research it: http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll
12. How does a bully become a bully?
He (or she) may be angry at problems he's having in his own life and is looking for people to use as punching bags. It could also be a learned behavior from being bullied at home by family members. Another reason we hear a lot about is the influence of violence in the media. But the major reason is that they really have a low self-esteem. They make look high and mighty but that is arrogance. Don't mistake arrogance for a high self-esteem. If someone truly has a good self-esteem they would not feel the need to control others.
13. What signs can we look for to know if a child has become a bully?
Damaging property, Setting fires, Torturing animals, Violent rage/outbursts/tantrums, Angry at everyone/everything, Was bullied himself/herself (in my book we call this the "Bully Cycle"), Lack of respect for others, Low self-esteem (Bullies have low self-esteem. Don't mistake arrogance for high self-esteem), A controller, Lack of remorse...
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